Sunday, January 8, 2012
Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
The Star Wars Holiday Special teaches us to hate Christmas, life
It was in 2006 that I acquired a copy of The Star Wars Holiday Special, complete with the original 1978 commercials. It should have been a fine year: Neal Asher, David Drake, and Stephen Baxter all had multiple new books rolling off the presses. Ace Combat Zero came out for the PlayStation 2, and the release of the PlayStation 3 paved the way for me to actually buy one three years later. Iron Maiden, Evergrey, In Flames, Norther, Strapping Young Lad, Tool, Motorhead, Blind Guardian, and Týr released new albums. Instead, there would be only the taste of ashes.
Now, one thing I share with several of my friends is the ability to enjoy crap. From 1950's skiffy schlock, to watching a near-comatose Richard Burton mumble his way through the uncut version of The Exorcist II, to Sylvester Stallone's arm wrestling epic Over the Top, to the climactic scene of The Satanic Rites of Dracula where Christopher Lee is killed by running into a small shrubbery, to Oscar-winning actor George Kennedy and a bunch of stupid teenagers trapped on a boat where they are picked off one by one by an evil hybrid cat/rat/godawful puppet in The Uninvited, to a seemingly endless horde of Godfrey Ho "ninja" "movies" created by buying the rights to various Asian films, redubbing them, splicing them together with new footage of white guys in brightly colored and sometimes rhinestone-studded pajamas running around and doing flips in what appears to a small municipal park, and feebly attempting to tie them together and pretend that the resulting Frankensteinian abomination was a coherent story, we've seen it all. We take that sort of thing in stride.
The plot, such as it is, is that Chewbacca is returning to his home and family on the Wookie homeworld of Kashyyyk to celebrate "Life Day," one of those vague holidays characters in kids' fantasy shows would celebrate when it was snowing and they wanted to do something festively nonsectarian. But the system is in the grip of an Imperial blockade fleet commanded by recycled movie footage of Darth Vader, and... Well, basically, there's a string of largely unrelated, godawful variety showesque events set in something that resembles the Star Wars universe featuring various C-list celebrities until things finally shudder to a halt what seems like several geological epochs later.
It's got all of the heroes from the movie making their return, plus James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader. The only major actors from Star Wars not present- unless one also counts David Prowse, who appears only in the form of reused movie footage, or Carrie Fisher, whose soul appears to have departed her body and wandered off for much of her screen time- are Alec Guinness as Ben Kenobi and Peter Cushing as Tarkin, whose characters were saved from appearances here by the sweet, merciful embrace of death.(Which makes it suddenly seem very suspicious that Kenobi and Tarkin both met their ends because they conspicuously chose not to protect themselves from imminent danger, and either possessed supernatural powers that included the ability to sense horrible, cataclysmic events or hung out with people who did.) What could possibly have gone wrong?
There are some things the human mind cannot explain, only try to describe. Some of the thrilling spectacles we're treated to include:
Over ten minutes of Chewbacca's family screaming at each in Wookie, sans subtiitles! This is what the show leads off with. Little-known fact: Lucas actually wanted the first 20 minutes of the original Star Wars to focus on R2-D2 making random beep-bloop noises while doing routine maintenance on the Tantive IV's cafeteria vending machines, but was forced to start the movie with an exciting space battle instead when the studio said that his original cut of the film was too long.
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Ever wondered what an elderly Wookie
having an orgasm looks like? Of course not, but now you know anyway.
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Lumpy! I've already mentioned his role in the Special's events, but the very existence of this... this thing appalls me so much that it warrants its own entry. With the possible exception of that loathsome, soulless homunculus wrought in obscene parody of a human child from Son of the Mask (the CGI baby, not Jamie Kennedy), nothing has ever filled with such instinctive horror.
JEFFERSON STARSHIP!
An animated segment featuring the most repellently butt-ugly animation in human history! It does have the first-ever appearance of Boba Fett, which some people may be interested in. Frankly, I've always considered Fett one of the most overrated characters in fiction. It's a damning indictment of how low our society's standards of masculinity have fallen when possessing some basic tracking abilities, dressing like the Rocketeer, flying around in a big metal shoe, and being killed by a blind man is enough of a résumé to be declared Biggest Badass Ever.
One odd thing is that the cartoon, like a number of other segments, is actually introduced as something being watched by Lumpy. Which implies that this segment depicts events that are fictional not only to us but to the characters, and that the cartoon itself actually exists within the Star Wars universe.
Which, I just realized, means that Jefferson Starship does, too.
A brief appearance by an incredibly bored-looking Harrison Ford, who doesn't even try to conceal his utter contempt for the proceedings!
Mark Hamill wearing more makeup than Queen Amidala, Bozo the Clown, and Dick Clark combined! Usually I'd be reluctant to say something nasty about this, since it's probably to conceal the injuries Hamill had suffered in a car crash the previous year, but The Star Wars Holiday Special exists on a plane where human concepts of morality and decency are not merely absent, but meaningless. If you gaze into the bellowing unsubtitled Wookie abyss, the bellowing unsubtitled Wookie abyss gazes also into you.
She's no Bea Arthur, I'll tell you that much.
I really can't do justice to how teeth-gratingly bad it is. I have no strong personal stake in Star Wars. I liked the original movies and a few of the tie-in books, but I've never had the strong emotional attachment to Star Wars that some people do. I didn't like the prequel trilogy but never had the sort of "I have sworn a Sicilian blood oath of vengeance upon George Lucas' and his entire family line because he murdered my family, burned down my village, and deflowered my house pets" response that is often seen on the Internet. The idea of crap with the name Star Wars on it is not some sort of personal affront to me. Given that sitting through this made me want to gouge out my own eyes and just run through the streets of Chicago gibbering like a lunatic until my heart and/or lungs burst, I can only imagine how devoted Star Wars fans feel about it.
Merry Christmas, everybody!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Other stuff I'm up to
So, have a look if anything like that interests you. I strongly endorse Robot Geek and Kuribo's Shoes in general; they're both great sites. More stuff actually written for this blog coming soon.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Book Review: Out of the Waters by David Drake
Friday, October 7, 2011
Reading books for the first time
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Book Review: The Moon Maze Game by Larry Niven and Steven Barnes
The Moon Maze Game is the most recent collaboration by authors Larry Niven and Steven Barnes. It is the fourth book in their Dream Park series (preceded by Dream Park, The Barsoom Project, and The California Voodoo Game) and part of the same future history as some of their other collaborative works, but it's a self-contained story and stands fine on its own whether you've read the previous books or not.
In the year 2085, humanity has spread into the solar system and now has a thriving permanent settlement on the moon. After losing his job as the bodyguard to a wealthy Belgian heiress, security professional Scotty Griffin receives a new job offer from an unexpected source: the King of the Republic of Kikaya, an African nation born from the ashes of the former Democratic Republic of Zimbabwe. The King wants to hire a bodyguard for his son and heir, Ali, for a trip to the moon.
Griffin is a former Lunar resident himself, but a near-fatal accident on the Lunar surface that left him near death and pinned down with his face towards the sky while he waited hours for rescue caused him to develop a crippling fear of the open starry sky. It left him unable to do his job and eventually drove him back to earth entirely, breaking up his marriage. He isn't keen to go back, even if the new job doesn't require him to leave the safety of the colony's domes, but he needs work and he hates the thought of letting his fears rule him forever.
Ali's destination is the first virtual-reality live-action role-playing event ever held on the moon, which he plans to participate in. Overseeing the event is Kendra Griffin, Scotty's estranged wife and one of the leaders of the colony's emerging society. Live-action role-playing utilizing a combination of holography and real physical items and sets is a popular form of entertainment on earth, attracting thousands of players in the games themselves and millions of viewers watching the most exciting games from home. A full-scale state-of-the-art gaming event requires considerable infrastructure, and so this historic event- which will be broadcast to hundreds of millions of viewers on Earth- represents a potential milestone in the development of the lunar colonies, showcasing their development before the entire world's eyes, spurring greater economic development, and bringing the day when the moon treats with the independent nations of earth as an equal closer. If it goes well.
The game is itself set on a fantasy version of the moon, populated with creatures inspired by the stories of H.G. Wells and brought to life by a labyrinthine, multi-story dome built for the occasion. But Ali's presence draws the moon into terrestrial politics when two lunar residents with a family connection to Kikaya and ties to opponents of the existing monarchy hire a gang of professional kidnappers and smuggle them onto the moon, hoping to abduct Ali and use him as a political bargaining chip.. The game has barely begun when they seize control of the game dome and take Griffin, Ali, and the rest of the players as hostages. The prisoners begin a desperate escape attempt, but even if they escape, the players are still trapped with a group of ruthless professional criminals in a sealed dome until rescuers can arrive and figure out how to force their way in without blowing the dome open to the void of space in the process.
There is something working in their favor, however: The dome's numerous holographic and mechanical effects still work, and the dome's computers are still running the game. Griffin is the only prisoner accustomed to real fights, but the gamers know far more about how to deal with and take advantage of the dome's capabilities than their captors do, and the gamers have no shortage of ingenuity...
I quite enjoyed The Moon Maze Game. The plot is interesting, very well-paced, and keeps things exciting without seeming rushed or overstuffed. The lunar colony setting is not particularly new or noteworthy in itself, but it's used very well, with things like the dangers of the airless environment, the challenges of carrying out a covert criminal operation in a cramped, crowded, airtight population center, and the effects of low gravity all used to good effect. It's primarily an action-adventure story rather than a speculative one (though the two mesh interestingly, as discussed below) but it's still very much a science fiction story- the lunar environment is so integral to events throughout that the book could not transplanted to a more mundane terrestrial setting and continue to make sense
The action in the book is very well-done, and the authors make extensive use of the possibilities of lunar gravity. Barnes' background in the martial arts brings a lot to the story, especially when working in combination with the lunar setting. Low gravity doesn't just mean you can jump high- a fight becomes a radically different proposition when trying to shift your stance the way you would on Earth can throw you off your feet, or when your weight isn't rooting you to the ground firmly enough for you to turn your body in place to throw a proper punch, or when it's possible to turn somersaults with a grown man clinging to your back. It was rather cool to read a book where many of the science fictional aspects were not about futuristic technology (much as I love that sort of thing), but rather about the natural human body in motion in an alien environment.
I like the characters quite a bit. The various gamers who find them selves trapped in the dome with Ali and Scotty Griffin are likable people, and the authors do a good job of making them important participants in events through their courage and ingenuity without ignoring the fact that, unlike Griffin, they don't have training or experience preparing them for a real-world life-or-death struggle and would have no chance in a straightforward confrontation with professional killers.
I also enjoyed the portrayal of Xavier, the renowned Game Master chosen to create and oversee the adventure to be featured for the moon's historic first game. Xavier is an unlikable jerk- he's smug, arrogant, spiteful, overly self-involved, and was planning to covertly abuse his position as Game Master to harass and embarrass two participants in the game he has a decades-long grudge against until the arrival of the kidnappers interrupts him, at which point he is initially more angered by the interruption of his work than the threat to human lives. But he's not a caricature of an unlikable jerk- using all of his ingenuity and what limited access he still has to the systems inside the gaming dome, he does everything in his power to help the gamers survive and escape, his own hated enemies included. He's a prick, not a monster, and his role in the story benefits from that.
Probably most of all, I liked the portrayal of the relationship between Scotty and Kendra Griffin, which spurns the common "angry, bickering estranged couple forced by circumstances to work together" cliches. Instead, both Griffins come across as deeply hurt but reasonable people who understand that the breakdown of their marriage was the result of an unfortunate set of circumstances- a woman who had dedicated her life to the moon and would never be happy living anywhere else and a man suddenly rendered unable to continue living there at all- and have the maturity to accept that instead of taking their pain out on each other. That was refreshing.
I recommend The Moon Maze Game for science fiction fans. It's not the sort of mind-blowing speculative work most commonly associated with Larry Niven, but it's a very solid action-adventure story and well worth reading.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Interesting new project from Angry Robot Books
This intrigues me: Angry Robot Books is starting a new project called "Worldbuilder" that actively encourages fans to create their own derivative works based on the universe of one of their upcoming books, Empire State by Adam Christopher. Once it's up and running, fans of the book will be able to upload their own creations to the official Worldbuilder website under a Creative Commons license. There are also plans for published anthologies based on this material.
The most similar project I can think of is the community of fans that has arisen around Eric Flint's 1632 and its sequels, which emerged out of fan discussions on the Baen Books message boards and has subsequently given rise to a regularly published online collection of new fan-contributed stories from Baen, the Grantville Gazette, as well as several paperback compilations. The Gazettes are overseen by Flint himself and are, if I'm not mistaken, actually considered a canonical part of the 1632 universe. The Worldbuilder project looks like it's going to be somewhat looser- anyone can contribute their fan works to the site, whereas fan-written 1632 stories have to go through a review and approval process and get Flint's imprimatur before appearing in the Gazette- but it would be interesting to see if some of the Worldbuilder material becomes "official."
I would definitely like to see something like this take off. I've seen some very cool examples of storytelling and worldbuilding created through group efforts at somewhat in this vein,* so it's good to see another publisher and published author trying to tap into it. *(E.g.the SCP Foundation or Project LONG STAIR. Or the Cthulhu Mythos, for that matter.)
The book being used, Empire State, seems like a good choice for this sort of thing, since it's apparently a sort of noir superhero story set in a fantasy version of 1920s New York. Established superhero-based settings like the Marvel Universe are comprised of characters and locations created by a number of different authors, and I think the nature of superheroes as characters makes it easier to have multiple characters written by multiple authors, each possessing abilities and having experiences that wouldn't be possible in our world and have possible implications about how the fictional world works, without stepping on each other's toes too much. So Angry Robot is kicking off this project with something especially well-suited to it, which is good.
I'm very much looking forward to seeing how this goes.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Book Review: Gateways, edited by Elizabeth Anne Hull
Gateways is a collection of stories by a number of different authors, published in honor of Frederik Pohl's seventy-year career as a science fiction author and editor.
Pohl is a special author to me. One of the science fiction novels that really made an impression on me as a kid was Pohl's The World at the End of Time, published in 1990. I was exposed to it by sheer chance- my father would often pick up a few books for me when he was out of town on business, he knew I liked science fiction, and on one of his trips it was the most science fictiony-looking book at the airport kiosk on the day he was flying home.
I was blown away by it. It had interstellar space colonization, several human civilizations separated by thousands of years of history, godlike plasma-based beings living in stars that waged war with each other on an unimaginable scale, entire solar systems accelerated to relativistic speeds, trillions of years of the universe's evolution... startling stuff when you're in elementary school and just starting to delve into science fiction. A few years later, I discovered Pohl's classic Gateway, which became one of my favorite books. So I owe Frederik Pohl quite a bit.
Gateways collects over a dozen stories by various science fiction authors, including three novellas by David Brin, Frank M. Robinson, and Cory Doctorow. There are some reprints, but most of the stories are original to this anthology. Each contributor also provides a short remembrance of Pohl after their story, and several other authors who don't have story here, such as Robert Sawyer and Robert Silverberg, share their memories as well. It also contains forward by Elizabeth Anne Hull, the book's editor and Frederik Pohl's wife of nearly three decades.
Stories of note for me included:
Von Neumann's Bug by Phyllis and Alex Eisenstein- Story about a suburban man on present-day Earth who starts experiencing strange events after a tiny, unmanned interstellar explorer crash-lands on present-day earth and takes up residence in his garage while it repairs itself. Very fun and good-natured, and one of my favorites here.
Sleeping Dogs by Joe Haldeman- A former soldier returns to a planet where he fought decades ago in a war he has no memory of, thanks to the memory alteration procedure done to the troops after the campaign was over. with what little he now knows about the planet and the war. Equipped with a drug that can help restore his lost memories if he can expose himself to enough stimuli associated with his forgotten past, he tries to retrace his steps to find out who he was and what he did almost 30 years ago. Very effective and chilling, and Haldeman also does a great job of evoking the setting of the story in a short space.
Gates (Variations) by Larry Niven- The shortest story in the collection, but it still captures the combination of scientifically grounded SF and off-kilter weirdness that I like so much about Niven.
Tales from the Spaceship Geoffrey by James Gunn- Part of an upcoming novel Transcendental. A diverse group of aliens on a journey through space together pass the time by relating their pasts. Gives us an interesting look at several different alien species through the stories included here, and definitely piqued my interest in the novel. I was particularly liked the section narrated by a member of an alien race called the Dorians, which takes the common science fiction trope of a violent, militaristic, ruthlessly aggressive and predatory alien species (think Larry Niven's Kzinti for one of the archetypal examples) and puts an even more disturbing spin on it that grew more chilling the more I thought about it- what if they aren't naturally like that at all?
Virtually, A Cat by Jodie Lynn Nye- Fun, cute story about a man driven to despair while stuck on a two-year interstellar journey without his beloved cats, and the solution one of his crewmates devises to help him. I liked this one a lot; it probably helps that I'm a cat lover, but you don't need to be to enjoy this one.
A Preliminary Assessment of the Drake Equation, Being an Excerpt from the Memories of Star Captain Y.T. Lee By Vernor Vinge- Story about the exploration of the newly discovered planet, in a universe where humanity has developed faster-than-light-travel and found many earthlike worlds across the galaxy but has yet to find evidence of any extraterrestrial life more complex than bacteria. Very nicely combines a cheerful, light-hearted exploration story with some weightier concepts.
Shoresteading by David Brin- Near-future story set on the receding shores of China, after a rise in the sea level caused by global warming has left much of what used to be coastal China underwater. Starts off a bit weak, but it picks up and is dealing with some fairly interesting ideas by the end.
Contributions by authors such as Harry Harrison, Neil Gaiman, Greg Bear, Gene Wolfe, Gregory Benford, and Mike Resnick are also included.
The collection has its hits and misses, but the only story I actively disliked was “The First-Born” by Brian W. Aldiss. It's a dull, unpleasant, pointless journey to nowhere with a repulsively trivializing (seemingly bordering on outright apologism for the perpetrator) portrayal of childhood sexual abuse thrown in for good measure. There's the germ of several potentially interesting subjects for stories here- the possible effects of an alien environment on developing fetuses during an attempt to colonize Mars, a poorly funded and poorly planned colony's struggle to maintain itself, the psychological strains experienced by the colonists in such an environment- but nothing interesting happens with them here. Ugh.
All in all, though, I found Gateways quite enjoyable and would happily recommend it to fans of Frederik Pohl. More generally, I'd also recommend it to other science fiction fans interested in new short fiction, especially if you'd like to read some stories on that are mostly on the more upbeat side of the spectrum.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Characterization in science fiction
Monday, July 4, 2011
Book Review: The Quantum Thief by Hannu Rajaniemi









